A Good Man Goes To War II : Legacy

I'm not having a great time in my life right now, I can't feel much except darkness because everything in my life turned to shit and my little boy's things have been stolen, it's not the fact that i can replace them, it's the fact that i have been dealing with this insanity for over three years and i feel so fucking powerless.. there's not much i can do except hold the thorns in my hands that i have been dealt and turn them into a fist... that's exactly who I am, the survivor, the warrior, The war, the battle,the anger, the rage, the Fist, the Armageddon, Never the Victim, Never pretending to be one... i Know exactly who I am, You can't fucking destroy a wall that will stand after the fire... and I've been burning since the day i was born...but it's not about me... it's about making a better world for those that come after me, the important ones... there's only one reason I fight even when I'm falling apart... that's the only thing's that drives me, not the anger, not revenge, not the heart beating in my chest that does not exist, the only thing that drives me is the promise of tomorrows victory... this time of year should be a good and happy time for me and it isn't. Fuck you Jennifer.

Current Mood: Angry, Sad.
Current Music: Legacy, Eminem
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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