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Lost....in Hell...

To rise, first you must burn.

I don't know what the next step is, Although their is one more fight left in me, I feel lost about everything else, I have every right to expect to go back to old life and try and pick up the broken and destroyed pieces but i am clinging to new behaviors that i built up to protect myself and I am afraid of going back to the person I used to be for the fear of being destroyed again, i am stronger than that but until he is back in my life and i am truly whole, i don't know where to go... all i know is that this fight is taking too fucking long, and the choices presented right now are both a good and bad thing because if it was up to me i would stay where I am and finish the fight and then leave myself options to start anew elsewhere instead of having an albatross of a long term commitment to this city of hell. I have spent almost 4 fucking years in Purgatory.. I am Unsure how much longer i can continue the fight and how much longer i want to stay stuck in the Pit...

Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Music: Megadeth, 44 Minutes

It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt. If you do not climb, you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall?.

Comments

Anonymous said…
As well you know, you'll fight for as long as you have to. You are a warrior.
10:23 AM
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