.....Till All Are Gone! II

For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.

It's time to leave this toy thing behind and take what I can from it over the holidays and walk away.. when I think someone has used it as an excuse to get me to leave my house so they could could leave with all their stuff and possibly some of mine.. and i'm stalled for several hours as a result... there's something fucked up in the hen house... my trust level for certain people is very low right now... it's not enough to give your word anymore in this world.. everyone... outside of blood has a reason at some point or other to stab you in the back... i've learned that...far far, too close to home.. but that is the only real thing in this world that keeps me going and the only battle i need to fight... anything else is just distraction. but steal from me, the hammer will come down. but you sir are a nothing and a nobody, just a common theif.. I have bigger things to waste my hate on, you don't count..... there are much bigger things in this world for me to get angry and to waste my hatred and my anger on... you are a bug on the windsheild in comparision....

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Metallica, Wasting My Hate.

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.

Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.

It's difficult to trust people who already show they don't trust you.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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