.....Till All Are Gone! II

For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.

It's time to leave this toy thing behind and take what I can from it over the holidays and walk away.. when I think someone has used it as an excuse to get me to leave my house so they could could leave with all their stuff and possibly some of mine.. and i'm stalled for several hours as a result... there's something fucked up in the hen house... my trust level for certain people is very low right now... it's not enough to give your word anymore in this world.. everyone... outside of blood has a reason at some point or other to stab you in the back... i've learned that...far far, too close to home.. but that is the only real thing in this world that keeps me going and the only battle i need to fight... anything else is just distraction. but steal from me, the hammer will come down. but you sir are a nothing and a nobody, just a common theif.. I have bigger things to waste my hate on, you don't count..... there are much bigger things in this world for me to get angry and to waste my hatred and my anger on... you are a bug on the windsheild in comparision....

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Metallica, Wasting My Hate.

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.

Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.

It's difficult to trust people who already show they don't trust you.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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