.....Till All Are Gone! II

For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.

It's time to leave this toy thing behind and take what I can from it over the holidays and walk away.. when I think someone has used it as an excuse to get me to leave my house so they could could leave with all their stuff and possibly some of mine.. and i'm stalled for several hours as a result... there's something fucked up in the hen house... my trust level for certain people is very low right now... it's not enough to give your word anymore in this world.. everyone... outside of blood has a reason at some point or other to stab you in the back... i've learned that...far far, too close to home.. but that is the only real thing in this world that keeps me going and the only battle i need to fight... anything else is just distraction. but steal from me, the hammer will come down. but you sir are a nothing and a nobody, just a common theif.. I have bigger things to waste my hate on, you don't count..... there are much bigger things in this world for me to get angry and to waste my hatred and my anger on... you are a bug on the windsheild in comparision....

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Metallica, Wasting My Hate.

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.

Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.

It's difficult to trust people who already show they don't trust you.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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