Five Years...Six Easter's

Nothing will remain of you: not a name in a register, not a memory in a living brain. You will be annihilated in the past as well as in the future. You will never have existed.

It has been five years, Six Easter weekends since you started this war, I'm still here and I'm still standing and fighting for him, he has not been forgotten, nor have you truly erased me from his mind... the end is coming soon, I am just waiting, I will never be your fucking martyr on this battlefield, I will always find a way to fight, even when I don't want to... so much has come and gone in the last few years but at least one of us can hold there head up and say I never resorted to bullshit tactics, I just fight, fist to the bone... you wanna throw punches, be prepared to catch more than a few of them along the way, I have No fear of you, but it fucking sucks that this time of The year once again there is something hollow growing out of the space that used to be my heart, and you are 100% to blame for that. It sucks that your reasons for doing everything have always been around holidays, i guess you want your self remembered even in hatred.... and for your selfish reasons you create drama in his life.... all i have ever wanted to be is his father, and that won't change.. no matter how many fucking Easter's and other holidays I miss. It's just about the games you play, it's just sad this weekend is a stinging reminder every fucking year of how much you twisted the knife in your quest to destroy me, in your quest to destroy the relationship between me and him. very soon, it's gonna be my turn to twist the knife... and I have more ammunition than you ever thought you could create out of thin air out, the difference is, what i have is true.

Current Mood: Depressed.

It doesn't get better," I said. "The pain. The wounds scab over and you don't always feel like a knife is slashing through you. But when you least expect it, the pain flashes to remind you you'll never be the same.

Losing your life is not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is to lose your reason for living.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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