Skip to main content

The Unreality II



What happens to us without the war? Maybe we mistook the love we still have for each other for the rage that we still have... there's no question that whatever the fuck we are it's passionate, but I pretended to hate you for so long that once again you give me serious reason to, I'm having trouble finding the way... all that remains is buitterness and hollow inside. I have nothing. That's what you have given me. And now I am hollow and empty with nothing left to give to you, the is my mountain, this is my palace... it's crumbling.....


But I'm used to it... this is status quo, standing operating practice, I get a little ahead and fate or you stomp me down... I can't be controlled so something happens and I lose everything agian, 


And you wonder why I'm hyper-vigilant?


I can't and won't live in you're fairy tale world because you constantly fucking betray me anyways... and it's better off just to have a thick fucking skin and expect it.  That's who the fuck I am. The guy who moves on. You want to fucking forget me. It's done. I'm gone.


I won't even bother you when I make my next decision in the coming years. You had you're chance you fucking blew it. I am fucking completely done. You're shit last week to fuck with me... then you throw it in my face.


I should be angry, I should want revenge... you already expect me to be violent and move against you. I won't. I never have. All I want is peace.


With or without you in my life. And the better choice right now is without.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...