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I’m Tired.



You know why I keep getting to do epic things? Because I have good people that have always had my back in my life and have never tried to destroy me. I’ve always been a good person and I pay it forward instead of using people. I’m not always the best at it but I try. 


You burn bridges, I’ve watched you do it. Meanwhile my freinds would help me out of anything including if I ever needed help for the ring. There was a reason I didn’t.


I don’t need help, I don’t need anyone. I just need me and I’ll always find my way and new ways to be me and to be happy and live my best life.


But I’m tired. I’m sick of my adventures without you. But I’ll still skin the razors edge with my life and do things because I can. I live a self destructive life because I can. Because I know when to stop and when to pull back. You don’t.


As for the rest of the summer, except for a planned moment with you. I’m fucking busy, my freind from England is here and we are doing stuff.


For the moment I’m treating you as you do me, an afterthought. Except for you’re birthday. I’ll try agian then with the phone call on the river.


But I am at peace and I am sending you nothing but positive energy. I love you and I’ll Go on my adventures and try to invite and if not I’ll get you a T-shirt or something for later for that moment. There is no anger, there is no bitterness. There is just wanting you to have a happier life like mine is and do epic things.


That’s where I am with it all. I want you happy. 


I am.


You are my true home and I will always find peace when talking with you. But I don’t need you to be at peace or to find myself and have fun.


Remember that.

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