You know it sucks the most when you both offer hope and withdraw it. I have done some amazing things this month and next and we need to discuss them. But as always when we have something important to change our lives, you run from it. As always. It’s so fucking predictable. I can try but it doesn’t matter because you run away. Nothing is ever good enough for you and you like hurting me with you’re actions. But I’m the one you cry to when things falls apart and when you cry. You know where I stand, and you know I’m always going to be there. Why do you continue to play games with our and our child’s life?
I guess I should be used to it by now, you’re false promises and the bullshit that you use to rope me in? But saying stuff like you’re going to come to my regular busking spot is giving hope. I might believe you one day. I might even do something stupid in our spot in the near future. But right now you don’t give me any reason to believe, you are just giving me more and more reasons to be broken and you demolished me years ago.
I don’t know where we are going to end up but this coming and going I think you do intentionally to hurt me. Especially when I make major effort for us.
But you don’t want that. You just betray me constantly because that’s where we have always stood. That’s where we are always going to stand. That’s on you. I never betrayed you. Not fucking once.
I’m getting tired of this game. All I wanted was one moment with you. I keep trying and you keep disappointing me.
One moment. It’s all we need, but as usual it’s on you’re timeline.
I’ll see you at 50.
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