Happy Ending Story.

All I ever wanted was one fucking moment. Just one. That’s all I ever asked you for. That’s all we ever needed. It isn’t just about the two of us. There are three of us. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll walk away forever. But we owe the child we never had any moments together with one fucking moment. That’s the only reason I keep trying.

One day you will wake up, one day you will grow up and realize all of that. And what you destroyed and what you have fucking lost. I just hope I’m still standing and not a corpse when that moment comes.

All I ever wanted was to give you beautiful moment. One you deserved. One just as much as for me as for him. Validation that you were the one woman in the world I loved the most. But you have to make it about you first. Everything is to your agenda and on your timeline. I’m sick of it.

He deserved his moment too. A moment you constantly deny for selfish fucking reasons. You talk a lot of pretty words but that’s all you fucking do. One day I will fade away and I will be gone. And he will ask you where all those moments went. You’ll have to lie to him because if he goes to my kin asking about all those happy moments not only will he have the paper, he will know that I tried. Every damn time. I always tried.

I just wanted to give us a happy ending story. But that meant I would have won the war. A war that ended six long fucking years ago. A war that ended by a third party interference if what you say is true.

I’m not sure today if that’s true.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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