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Venomized.



The issues at home are still there. I’m trying to fix them but it is burying me under the fucking weight.  I don’t pretend to be a bad boy or a hardass. I have had a difficult life as has those that I care for. Some of that is our own decisions and some of that is a twist of fate. However, I will act to protect the little I own. Primary amongst that is my own mental health. I’m making some new choices so I’m not constantly angry and aggressive towards people and more than that I’m not doing things that cause me physical pain. It’s time for me to change from being nice and polite and happy with the world agian. 


I’m at peace. It doesn’t mean I have to be anyones fucking doormat. In fact that is the complete opposite. It’s probably time for me to show some teeth agian and be a mean old miserable person. I mean everyone already thinks I am. Might as well go back to it. 


I have my own problems and I don’t need others problems invading them and creating more issues for me. It’s time to go my own seperate way like I always fucking do and just let things be a memory. I can’t exactly say it’s been a happy memory. It’s just a memory. I was already burning out on the whole thing and now I’ve just completely burnt out and I’ve stopped caring when it’s begun to affect my personal life and those around me I deal with every day as well as my ability to function.


Done. No anger, no bullshit. No bad feelings. Just Done. I have real priorities and I don’t need something that was once a hobby taking precedence over what is more important. It’s time to go back to it being a hobby and doing it for fun when it’s feasible rather than trying to do it for others. I have my own crew and they exist on a higher tax bracket than these people. Plus they are better people despite all of our flaws than these people I have been choosing to associate myself of late. 


I have real world problems and drama and maybe that’s what I should be focusing on instead of disappearing into this world of make believe full of fake ass individuals who  wont do nothing for anyone. I left that world the last time when it was actually making me money. This time it has 100% zero to fucking offer me.  I’d rather go back to being happy and hanging out with my friend’s and family. That’s how this started that is how it’s going to fuckin end. 


That’s the only moments that matter and I know who has my back and who simply pretends to be my friend to gain a fucking advantage for whatever reason. I don’t need to have anymore false friend’s. I have enough including an ex wife that I don’t need to have more fakes in my life. 


If i need to be mean to get my point across I’ll just withdraw and be nothing. Silence can speak more fucking volumes than a sharp tongue. I’m better than these people and I always have been. The fact that it’s one of the same pathetic people associated that was around in 2016 should say everything about why this is the right decision to quit.


When something becomes toxic in my life, once again its just time to walk the fuck away. This is a door that never should have been reopened. It should have stayed closed. I left this scene for a reason. I’m leaving it again for similar fuckin reasons. 


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