....Cause 10 years is forever and You Haven't grown up yet.

Estranged

1.to remove, as from usual surroundings or associates; keep apart or away

2.to turn (a person) from an affectionate or friendly attitude to an indifferent, unfriendly, or hostile one; alienate the affections of

I'm a little less pissed off today than i was yesterday after spending a night inside my own head thinking about everything, at least when i see things clearly i can somewhat understand the games you play, the biggest issue is the times you choose to play them, i'm already having a rough time with the fucking bullshit at work and of course you go and start tinkering with his little head so you can play him agianst daddy, we discussed this on the telephone, he's gonna try to play you agianst me and vice versa but you don't help things by trying to get him all emotionally confused and not explanining things to him, if I'm out of work, if i don't have moeny for a toy, if i have to or can't explain something to him all I give him is the truth not bullshit fairytales about something that's never gonna happen, do you understand how much you are screwing him up inside, do you even care? Of course not, it's still all about you, we are merely possesions to be played with and eventually thrown away... when the fuck will you ever grow up? Will it be this century?

Current Mood: Depressed.
All good qualities in a child are the result of environment, while all the bad ones are the result of poor heredity on the side of the other parent

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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