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Family Tree


Turns out i've been busy dealing with everything to not notice all the small things, having to fight with the goverment to keep a fucking roof over my head after I've worked for two and a half years to support myself isn't the most interesting thing I've done in the last week but it has been the most important thing, gotta love bureaucratic nonsense and bullshit, it doesn't help that my employer is also fucking me around, I've officially been taken off the night shift because someone who was hired after i was has complained she wasn't get enough shifts, that really seems fair, but I've been expecting to be used up and thrown away for fucking months. I might get some casual call in shifts But the fact i am still waiting for my Roe three weeks after the fucking request, and the fact that i have been completely off the fucking schedule for the last month, i think the writings on the wall, of course is would be nice if there was a legitimate reason, instead of a dick move to get rid of me immediately after my vacation, it's hard enough to survive without having to beg mother fuckers for social assistance that the welfare workers can't even get there fucking stories straight about what the legislation is, they should take a good look at my resume and realize I've been an Ow service provider in the past and i probably know the Ontario works legislation as good if not better than some of these morons that just graduated college or university. but of course that requires intelligence. ...and that's just the tip of the iceberg....

You have to love someone who can't keep his fucking name and mouth out of the paper and the news, goddamn it i carry that fucking name and i do not need my employers, friends, prospective employers, whomever judging me on what you look like and what you have done in the past, my name is tainted in this town and i am aware of that fact,I am seriously considering some serious life changes, somehow the Hamilton experiment is failing and the fact that it doesn't feel like home and the whole career path is just proving futile i have given myself some options by the end of the summer, i either get my license and the pardon by the end of the summer or i fucking take full time disability and end up like a fucking sloth like some of my very good friends in Windsor, and choose to do nothing with my life, If i can't get a job by the end of the summer here or in the Toronto area, i'm gonna go home to Niagara and just live and be pathetic so i can at least be a good influence in my sons life. I'm Sick of working my ass off and not being rewarded for my efforts, but always chastised for my failures. I can't deny working in this city has me thinking about anger and blood a lot, hamilton onatario canada is one of the worst cesspool's of abuse in the world and it's hereidatry, everything here keeps happening year, after year, birth cycle after birth cycle and endless cycle of abuse, at least in st. catherine's my boy has a chance, i am honestly considering going back there after I swore i never would, but when the stink and filth that connects my name and my blood to this city, it's time to consider alternatives, I'm not truly from here anymore, I haven't been for almost 20 years. it's time to make some grown uop decisions and do what's right and just for everyone, not just me, Survivalism is only affecting me, but it will soon creep into others lives, I moved here for a better chance with my fucking career if that's not happening after 2/12 years... of being in close proximity to the Toronto, it's time to find some alternative choices, i'm not going to sacrifice everything I am for a 9 to 5 to be used and anabused and judged and thrown away agian, and god knows who knows who anymore, sometimes i'm better off hiding away from my childhood and my past. I don't need to be in hamilton, and the way things are contuining to happen living here is just an inconveince.

Current Mood: Blood Red Eyes of Anger.
Current Music: Megadeth, Family Tree
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.

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