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War Machine.

You've actually done me a favor with this personal attack on me, instead of me being angry at you I'm angry at the system again, you've ignited fires that never should have gone out, Without your influence and trying to change myself so that you would fucking accept me as your equal which was never going to happen anyways, I'm just a possession just like you consider him.. but anyways, i have to thank you because now I know exactly who I am and that's not you, no, nothing like you, I won't accept the world as as it is... changes have to be made, no matter the personal cost and if things need to be torn down to get people to see the truth then that's what I'll have to do... This has always been a battleground for me, and i got distracted from that by you for a long time, I allowed you to change me and erase all vestiges of who i used to be....but now that person has returned angrily, with a vengeance and with an even bigger chip on my shoulder...Having being told my life's greatest achievement was a mistake and If i don't like the system i shouldn't be a part of it has really stoked the fucking fires... as someone who i have known over twenty plus years and knows me better than anyone... and Calls me at six fucking AM waking my ass up when I'm having killer insomnia... there are only a few people i'd answer to at that hour... anyways as he said... Why shouldn't I be Working in the system? I know it best... the system doesn't want people like me that know it because they know we can bring it down and they are afraid of us...I'm the best person to be working in the system, they only want to break me down so that I don't become a threat to them personally... too late oops, you fucked this up not me.. that weight is not on my shoulders, and when the dust settles i'll go back to helping kids one way or another and you'll not be on my back, i refuse to let anyone control me... she tried for years... another question.. why hasn't a lawyer been involved on her side of things? Oh yes that's right she can't afford one... the seventy thousand dollar woman who can't afford a lawyer trying to self lawyer with the use of the authorities... i stand alone because i choose to... I stand apart when i have to... but When it comes that which is most important and the only fucking thing in my life that matters.. you can bet your ass I'll have a lawyer Up in your shit as soon as possible.. I am beyond waiting waiting.. you fired the opening salvos once again this time... but in the end run neither of will win the battle and that little person that matter's the most to both of us, will end up the only one hurting and scarred.. for that i blame you.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: I don't wanna be me, Type O Negative.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

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