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In a Mirror, Darkly...

It's time for some real move forward, but I have been surrounded by my anger and thoughts the last few days and I wonder why certain things are as they are, One No parent should Ever be without their child, espically that child's mother, regardless of my personal feelings towards my former partner that is a line I would never ever fucking cross... and it has added to some of my angst over the last few days thinking about the possibilities and the ramifications on my life and other's that are important to me and the ramifications on theirs.. As angry As i get that is not something i could ever do.... two i ran my first con by myself and while we made good money it wasn't great and the planning was poor and while i made money i made money due to my prices and my high stress level about the whole thing, while this is a good hobby and an outlet I am kidding myself that this is going to last forever and i have be realistic and not sell the farm just to have a few bucks in my pocket.. i made a few bad business decisions but in the end it will all wash out, but i saw the darker side of it in my acquaintance this weekend and I will know when it's my time to back out, I wish i could escape this dark cloud i've been under but even when things are going positive and im having fun the insomnia, the stress and the darkness still creeps in, but the reality now is I am starting to see what choices would have been if I had chosen other paths and I'm bound and determine to stay on the path i was on, and the same moral ground since long before i was broken...I have that, she can't take that away from me... because of that i'll always be the better person.

Current Mood: tired, sleepless.
Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders?

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