Shattered Glass IV: Bizarro World.

I am angry and I don't know what the next step in my evolution is going to be, while things have changed i don't have a clue as to any certainty in my life and I really don't like sitting around being a ball of rage waiting around on phone calls that might never come... the worst part is due to all the confusion in my private life i may or may not have a place i can go and hide and be myself anymore, that may also have been taken away from me due to compassion for another soul or two and respecting their privacy and silence, I want to run away and go home but that place right now is another place where i could Do more Harm than good, I do not see anything at the end of these multiple black holes except for the bring red burn of rage and anger, I know that some of it I have caused myself and I know some of it is not my own fault and i question everything Including my own sanity but I am so fed up with the world right now and it seems to b shrinking and getting smaller, i have serious questions about the validity of my next step and why i sit being an abject warrior when the universe is closing in around me, maybe it's time to let the fates win, Nah....

Current Mood: Lost.
Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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