The Great Darkness Saga II

Still not having a lot of fucking patience with the situation and the more i get bothered about money that doesn't exist yet is the more i start thinking about moving on from this clusterfuck. this fucking ass clown just doesn't get that part of the problem with the old place was the choice to choice to use my house for storage, and now he can't find fucking shit he moved to my house? one day i might just lock the door and make all of his shit disappear, just like the stuff of mine he took to his place apparently did.. i swear i like the money but I don't need half of the fucking stress, and it's completely frustrating that he just doesn't care about anything that doesn't belong to him, just money.. it seems like this is the type of person i attract, it's frustrating that i can find opportunities in my life but they always constantly turn into clusterfucks and end up affecting me personally. maybe it's time to go back to being angry and mean and not caring, if other people don't give a damn it's time for me to do exactly the same... no more being honest or being fair... it's time to be the dirtball i know i can be... I'm sick of the selfishness surrounding me.

Current Mood: Frustrated.
Current Music: Eminem, Rap God.
What do you despise? By this are you truly known.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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