99% of all addicts are liars and thieves. This might sound unfair and even close-minded, but it's the truth. There are some exceptions to the rules, but they are incredibly rare. Most people are no match for their addictions. They will be driven to do things they would normally never have considered all in the name of getting high. Sad, but true. So if you're thinking of trying drugs, keep in mind that all the people you will be dealing with are likely to steal from you and lie to you at your own expense.
You know there are tiers of people in this city that I need to associate with and not associate with, the addicts , theives and the dealers, I want no part of them in my life no matter who they are or used to be, some of these so called freinds who are only around when they need something from me and having the favor returned is like pulling teeth, I don't have time for that. The only thing keeping me grounded in this fucking city is the fact that it's a halfway marker between everything else important in my life, but the city itself, I grew up here, I left for 15 years for a reason, I came back for a reason, it wouldn't be out of the realm of reason to leave agian. Outside of a few ties that will always be here I have no reason to have any loyalty to this city or so called freinds in it. This city has brought me nothing but pain my whole life and I always was happier when this city and some of it's trash were in my rear view mirror rather than omnipresent in my life. I don't need drama and nonsense and people who steal from me and play games about money, I don't need anyone in my life that doesn't need to be there, more than that I don't need anyone in my life that I personally don't fucking want in my life, limping around with fake freinds is not the place I am anymore, it's not the person I am, no matter what those relationships were in the fucking past, people when I take a step back to enjoy the good things in my life and to fight the battles that I have to, are starting to show true colours, and regardless those are people I don't need or want as an active part of my life, I have better fucking people to be involved with, I have better fucking things to do with my time. I don't need toxic people in my fucking life no matter where in my life they once came from. There is going to be a lot of fucking reevuation of everyone in my life and some people are going to be left behind. I just don't have time to care anymore. Esp if u are one of those people that can help but won't or worse, are one of the people in my life that's just a hanger on and a hindrance to my way of life. There are people I haven't given a shit about in years, and there's no sudden reason to change that, even if it gives me pause to wonder what would happen if I was to forgive and/or forget some of these people.... Well the forgetting part is easy, I just need to do a little more of it.
If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space
It's not just people here but I need to seriously consider where and what I am doing with all aspects of my life, there are considerations about everything, it is highly fucking doubtful that I will ever have the government completely out of my life, and I'm not going to play the same cloak and dagger shit I was fucking accused of to have relationships with people, I don't need the drama, the reality there is that I fucking walk away and uninvolve myself rather than being part of people's lives because my presence could affect theirs. The next six months are going to be even more of a fucking trial by fire, and while I do understand the reasons for it, as my life has been one for the last four. I refuse to have the darkness that infects my life affect others, to stop that from happening, if I have to I will choose to remove myself to protect the innocent. I don't care how much it hurts, just like if I am removing myself from people's lives and shitty decisions that could affect me, I'm going to do that same if it affects people I care about. That being said there are people I care about that need to fucking grow up and deal with their own fucking shit and not be all emo and fucking retarded about things, I'm sick of other people's problems, esp when people I've tried to help are fucking around and playing games. It's gotta be about me, I can't deal with immature fucking adults, I've got too much on the go and too much to care about to give a damn about other people and there fucking problems. I just don't care, and it's something that seriously, at this fucking point, is a small part of my life and to tell the truth I'd written off months ago, I don't care if you're freinds, family, old aquantenices, whatever. I'm sick of fucking drama and bullshit when I try to be there for other people. I'm better off being alone, I'm better off not having freinds that stab me in the back constantly but I say that's alright let me help you some more, here's an even sharper knife. Fuck it, regarding Hamilton and those kinds of people, I'm fucking done. I'm sick of being patient with people and hoping that one day they will get their shit together. I'm on the rock bottom as well, theirs not a lot great going on in my life, the differences being I have been given help and made the most out if opportunities I have been given, however their are days I still go home to bed with an empty belly, and days I wake up the same fucking way, I don't know where or how that things that have been agreed to can magically fucking change because it's time to have fucking responsibility agian, but then agian I don't care, I'm not going to care, just like everyone else I don't need to bother with in my life, Hamilton, Windsor, Niagara wherever, you can be written off, I really don't care about too many people anymore. And anyone that's gonna have an axe to grind or a knife to my backs going on that list, esp if it's going to affect my son or other loved ones. Anyone that I think my presence makes vulnerable I'm willing to walk out of their lives, that's being said, anyone that's doing the same fucking thing to me? See ya. It's not about the solid people in my life, it's about the flakes and hangers on, I can and will walk away from them, because when the fire of this hell I'm living under, the same core group of freinds and family that I have had forever will be there to help me lick my wounds. The sad fact is that there will be a lot fucking less of them. I'm prepared to deal with that, esp with people that don't realize there fucking actions have ramifications on other peoples lives too, I'm not rich I can't write off a fucking bill because of someone else's mistake, no more than I can write off last months rent, but at this point I don't fucking care, there's bigger fish to fry, and if I have to deal with drama elsewhere I'll just fucking cut ties and walk away, sometimes especially when it comes to hamilton I think it would be the easiest and most logical option to be somewhere else, I'm tied to the city in so much as I would rather be there than fucking st Catherine's, but Hamilton has brought me nothing but pain and people that have manipulated, stolen and taken advantage of me, there's only one reason in still there, take that away and I'm gone, right now I don't give a fuck where I go, just away from all if this bullshit drama other people create for themselves. These pathetic little toy people who think it's fucking alright to wait two fucking month and cry poverty when they took some of my better stock can go fuck themselves too.. i have real world things that need to be bought and i need to get fucking things done...... of course when it comes down to just like some of my other jackass friends they are unreliable, and people wonder why i don't give these fucking collectors the time of day or any sort of respect except for a chosen few.. i shouldn't be fucking chasing people for fucking money period. i have bigger fish to fry. one more month and im fucking done on that account. my son will have a nice collectors set up of vintage and takara and Mps and that's it, fuck these douchetards.
Current Mood: Angry, Apathy for your fucking problems.
Current Music: Offspring, The kids aren't alright
What a desperate, pathetic fool I was. Time after time, my "friends" had shown me their true colors. Yet, I still wanted to believe they were sorry for causing me pain
Fake friends; those who only drill holes under your boat to get it leaking; those who discredit your ambitions and those who pretend they love you, but behind their backs they know they are in to destroy your legacies.
When you see the genuine, you don't deal with the fakes anymore.
When you are swimming in success, a lot of fake friends would show up in your life. But when things get hard, you would think that all those unfriendly friends probably lost your phone number by accident, because you would barely or never hear from them again. So be wise with the caliber of people that you keep in your inner circle.
It takes a special kind of person to be a hater, but only a true loser will give the impression of being your friend while resenting every progress/success in your life
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