Halls Of Illusions.

I live in the real world. I don't live in the fairytale world where you think you can hurt and destroy people without consquences. Oh no, your not happy and not at peace because of your life and you choices. I'm not going to let you upset my life and my peace. I've tried hard enough and watched you destroy enough of my freindships and relationships. No more.

I can't live in your fucking world because it doesn't fucking exist... and you've probaly dragged my child down the rabbit hole with you. I have tried hard enough. I'm done.

I hope your illusions keep you warm at night and i hope they will be there to comfort you at the end because there is a very good fuckin chance that i won't be. You can only hurt a man so much with your bullshit. I will walk away and forget your fucking name. It's happened before. I have no fucking qualms about doing it agian.

I'm done fighting with you. I'm done entertaining these illusions on your life you take as your reality. Its a fucking ghost story, and my promise is just that. A promise to always be there. Promised to someone who is no longer here. Just because i will always answer the phone doesn't mean I'm going to spend my life waiting on a illusion.

Not this time. I am Done.

Current Music: Within Temptation, The Reckoning.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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