Your Ontario town is a Burial Ground II

I can't feel a fucking thing, seeing how people aren't bothering to answer my phone calls at work about next months schedule i think the next decision is going to be made for me, i can't afford to eat, take care of my kid and pay the rent.. i'm sick and tired of being in this life I am in, the world and my outlook on it all look black to me, i'm souless, the dreams have become demons and all i can feel is the passage of time and it's leaving me behind, i alomst wonder decisions i once made for a purpose have they damned me, so much for being recharged, if the game continues to be played and i find myself unemployed and homeless maybe i'll just fade away, when there is only one thing that matters and thank god he had soccer this weekend, there's only him and not much else left for me, i think it's time to go, this city no longer exsists to me, it's not a happy place, the wounds are not healing here they are becoming infected. I need to be somewhere else, somewhere healthier. we shall see what tommorow brings.

Current Mood: Nothing.
Current Music: CanTspeak, Danzig.
Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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