Batteries Recharged.

So my vacation is over and I am back at home dealing with the vow of poverty and the political bullshit at work agian, seems like i need to take a step backwards to go forwards.... there are some major decisions to be made and they may no longer reflect hamilton in any significant way in the very near future.. i have the choice to leave for Windsor and a conversation reflecting that will be happening very soon. also i have a job interview in port colborne on friday, so even tho i feel i have made a life here i also feel that the longer i continue here i will end up completely burning out and going away for a week will no longer leave me feeling refreshed, that being said i plan to take the little one on another vacation at the end of the summer to windsor and just hang out with him and my real fucking freinds in windsor, certian people this week proved their worthyness and other's will end up cast aside as I do not need certain influnces in my life at this point. I had a great time and weill not be waiting another 4 years to hang out with my pals.

Current Mood: Refreshed.
William H. Bonney, also known as 'Billy the Kid' continued to ride, never leaving New Mexico. He was caught in Fort Sumner by Sheriff Pat Garret and killed. Sources report that he was unarmed, and shot in the dark. He was buried with Charley Bowdre at Old Fort Sumner. Advices report that sometime later, an unidentified person snuck into the graveyard and chiseled an inscription. The epitaph read only one word... 'Pals'.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

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