Skip to main content

A Line in the Sand.....

There comes a time to stand and fight and be right and refuse to be peaceful or surrender, NO compromises and NO question of what the end goal and end Game is... It's time to stop being the man that waits for other's to finish this battle for me... it's time for me to be proactive and on the full offensive, I have the tools and i have the will and the drive, I know exactly what I am fighting for and all the personal sacrifice i have done and will done is worth that... but it's time to make people remeber i have a fucking voive in all of this and when someone starts making fucking discuisions for me, esp when they affect me negatively on a legal level and are counter productive to the entire fucking end game it's time to be a lot more fucking active.. i am not some dumb kid.. i have been that in years.. i have been fighting this war on one front since i was 8 years old... i know damn well I have issues and probaly should deal with some counselling... maybe it's time instead of being miserable and defiant i listened to one of the people i care about and did something about that.... but I know that battle and I'm fully aware i have some form of PTSD, i am fighting a war... admitting any weakness concern's me as i am afraid of openining that door for the fear that anything there could be used agianst me.. I am too close to the end for any more setbacks... the other battle i have been fighting for almost a decade, and it's only about him... but i need to close the door on the other concern before moving forward or this fucking cycle of bullshit and the waste of blind justice will continue because sheis the master manipulator, and it shouldn't be my war with her, or even a battle..... i know where when that last day comes how the black queen's last move will be... this is pyschological chess... you are fucking predictable.. but i shouldn't let the anger and hate i have towards cloud my judgement in every decision and i shouldn't wait for the cards to fall where they may... it's time to deal you the aces and eights.... there's no more time to blink.. i wanr you.. you are going to stare into the Fiery depths of Hell and take a deep look at yourself.. i dare you not to blink... when I stare thru you I won't. this is and never was about you on my end... it's always about him... sometimes i am so angry i forget that. not anymore... this is my battle, my fight... it's one of many along the pattern of my life... but this is the most important one... this is the end game... and either you stand beside me or behind me or you get the fuck out of my way.. that includes those that are making decision's for me... it's not longer a choice for me to let other's handle my fucking affiars... it's time to make sure that every decision and every chess move going into this final end game is one with my handprint and my handprint alone on it... this is a line in the sand.. it needs to be drawn.... i will not let him slip away because of careless decisions... i will not let someone else dictate what needs to be done... I know exactly what needs to be done... it has to start and end with me.......

Current Mood: Depressed, Anger, Determiniation.
In each of us, two natures are at war – the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose – what we want most to be we are

The fact that you are possessed by a demon does not mean you must become evil. Being evil is a choice, just as being good is a choice. If you let the demon take over, it's because you choose to.

You speak as if this is a good world with a little evil in it. Rubbish. It's a hellish one where the best a man can do is put a little sanity back and look after his own.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...