Skip to main content

Mind Games II

It's coming from all sides and I am sick of fighting battles, this weekend ends a lot of this bullshit and I will be walking away, But it is a neccasry evil and I need to see this thru to the end even tho everyone seems to think i was better off when i was playing guitar and starving on street corners, newsflash, i still do that a lot more than i want to.. I have an evil vindictive ex girlfreind who has destroyed my Career which is my way of providing for myself, my life and relationship with my child... and that is being remedy'd very soon, but until that happens i can't look past the fact I need to have an income to provide for myself and the legal bills. this is only about the battle i have to fight, I am going to try to get my life back in order this weekend but i am being pulled very thin by all the nonsense in my life, It's time to walk away from the toy bullshit and just take whats mine after this weekend, but the biggest payout of the year, the one thing i have worked towards all year? yeah, this is where it ends... not before.. the sad part is.. i had the idiot come to me today and settle old debts with the intention of cutting me out of the big show... and i have lost too many things and had way too much irrating bullshit in my life to walk away without this big payoff... it is time to walk away, but On My Terms and only On my Terms.. same as the fight i have to see to the finish things don't go away just because other's want them to.. they go away because they need to.. and when i am done fighting both battles we will be done.. not before. all of this good and bad has only one logical conclusion, Only one reason for doing so, and It doesn't matter if I'm miserable, it only matters at the end of the day that I Finish the fight...

Current Mood: Angry, Depressed, Torn and Divided.
Current Music: Eminem, Headlights

We are the choices we make. And have to make. We aren't anything else.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more