The War XXI: The Game Plan.

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.

It's almost done, things are becoming exactly what they are supposed to become and i know exactly what the next step is.. there are surprises along the way and forks in the road that are unpredictable but I know where I am going and I have no fucking expectations other than to watch you burn, this is not and has not ever been about me.. and it's time next week for that to be proven, this is about a lost little boy and a delusional mother who needs to face reality and not be spoiled by the system that has enabled her bullshit actions for so long.. i know I'm fighting a losing battle.. but i also know i have and will never give up.. not until I am fucking dead... that's the long and short of it, there's no anger, not anymore.. i just want to see this, thru to the eventual end.. i don't expect there to be a true end next week but for every ending there is beginning... i'm expecting to see that. three fucking years of Hell, it's time to end that, I need my life back... not this substandard existence i have been only half living with the good half of my soul torn out of me and apart, i need to be whole agian and only judgement will bring me that.

Current Mood: Determined.
Never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter.

In modern war there is no such thing as victor and vanquished...There is only a loser, and the loser is mankind.

I'm not my father. I'm not weak.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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