The War XXI: The Game Plan.

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.

It's almost done, things are becoming exactly what they are supposed to become and i know exactly what the next step is.. there are surprises along the way and forks in the road that are unpredictable but I know where I am going and I have no fucking expectations other than to watch you burn, this is not and has not ever been about me.. and it's time next week for that to be proven, this is about a lost little boy and a delusional mother who needs to face reality and not be spoiled by the system that has enabled her bullshit actions for so long.. i know I'm fighting a losing battle.. but i also know i have and will never give up.. not until I am fucking dead... that's the long and short of it, there's no anger, not anymore.. i just want to see this, thru to the eventual end.. i don't expect there to be a true end next week but for every ending there is beginning... i'm expecting to see that. three fucking years of Hell, it's time to end that, I need my life back... not this substandard existence i have been only half living with the good half of my soul torn out of me and apart, i need to be whole agian and only judgement will bring me that.

Current Mood: Determined.
Never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter.

In modern war there is no such thing as victor and vanquished...There is only a loser, and the loser is mankind.

I'm not my father. I'm not weak.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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