The War XV: War Games II

3 plus years and only when I make a proactive move to get records at this point do you do anything to attempt to prevent that? this is a chess game and I am always 2 moves ahead, but this is also a war and It is very apparent you are the losing end of the battle... for me it's never been about winning or losing but doing what is right and what is in the best interests of our child... of course to you and your own selfish ends it's only about you... it has only ever been about you... when and if i get the records it destroys your credibility that part is understood.. but you do know what happens when you unleash a dragon, esp. a dragon fighting for his cub, you will feel the fire... it's not about who is right or wrong anymore but it is about the truth and the more games you play and the more you seek to hide these things the weaker you become... This has never been anything but a game to you, but it is his life in the balance and i will fight you with every once of strength till i fall, and I don't know how to fall, even at my weakest moment's I am still stronger than you, this isn't about my anger, this isn't about revenge, it's not even about me and you anymore.. it never has been, it is about doing the right thing for my son, i wish you would take that into account but you're anger and hate blinds you, This would be so much easier for me if i could muster up half the hate and anger you have for me, they would make effective weapons, bu even as much as i do have hate in my heart and anger towards you, it is a microcosm of yours.. i could never hate you as much as you hate me, you good or bad are the mother of my child and that is important, even if we hate each other, but i would never wish to destroy you.. It isn't about you... even tho you probably think it is.

Current Mood: Determined.
After the war I was going to make up for lost time. But the time I spent away, it's still lost. No matter what I do, it stays lost.

For my love, I will wade through an ocean of blood, even if it destroys me.

Until they feel what we feel, they will never fully understand the own hell they caused.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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