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Pride III: Regret.


I think the thing that bothers me most is the fact I provided for someone else's family when my own needed me most and I was cast aside when the money ran out. If I had been upfront and honest about things five or six years ago I almost wonder what the end result would have been. I have always regretted not buying you you're ring in that moment, or trying to make peace and amends. Anger and bitterness are horrible things and always come back on you a thousandfold.... But I wasn't ready I guess. I guess I needed to have the experiences I did before my world would make sense.

I just know I don't want anyone else's family but mine and I don't want to be anyone else's father but his. I tried that. It didn't take. I was used and thrown away like garbage after sacrificing everything I was at the fucking time. I have no interest in going back to that with anyone.

I hate the fact that I am a proud man when I could call or text this last Saturday night and see how you're doing, but because you're ignoring me I'm choosing my moments carefully because I don't want to be a nuisance, or ever make you seriously angry at me agian, I have had enough of that in my life. I'd rather suffer in silence, it's probably what's best for us.

When I need to make my move I will. It won't be long. I just need a few more seconds.

Current Mood: depressed


Current Music: Civil War, GNR

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