A Tale That Wasn’t Right.

Our story isn’t finished. The fact that we respond to each other in the moments that matter. It means one day maybe there is hope to fix it. I don’t know how much trying I have left in me anymore. You’ve gotta come to me, my life doesn’t reach to you. That’s the status quo that’s where we stand right now.

I’m enjoying my life and my adventures. And I wish so much for some of them that you and him were beside me, but that’s always going to be your choice not mine. I’m on your schedule. I just want to fix the things that went wrong. We should be a family not adversaries. I’m good with being at peace with you and I’m happy with my life and the way it stands.

I spent too much time chasing something else and I had nothing to show for it, so I’m happy with my place in life. I’m stable. You and him are the only things missing in my life. But I am not chasing half moments. All or nothing you made that clear. So will I.

It’s in your hands to fix this now. To fix the tale that wasn’t right.

I have always played by my own rules and followed my own path. Once you were part of that path. Once you should have stayed part of that path. I’d like us to find that again.

Our story isn’t over.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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