Skip to main content

I Want Out.




This is not the life I chose. This isn’t where I should be in this moment. But this is where I am. These are the Choices that have been made for me by fate, and I live according to my responsibilities and circumstances.


Doesn’t mean I have to like it, and like every moment of my life I’m not settling. I live regardless of my circumstances. I do things. I don’t sit at home waiting for the next thing in my life to happen. I make those things happen. I go on adventures. I live my life. 


I will never stay home miserable feeling sorry for myself and conforming for a world that never wanted me to fit in anyways. The idea of being normal repulses me. People aren’t jealous because I have the stable home life. The jealousy stems from my adventures. Wishing they could have a life like mine.


But here’s the thing, I fought my battles for decades, I have earned what little happiness I have left and the right to do the things I want.


I did the right thing for long enough. I’m still

Doing the right thing.


I live, I enjoy myself and my loved ones and my friend’s. But when I go dark on you because of you’re actions there is no forgiveness. You are excommunicated and we are done.  It’s getting close to that point Again with a few people I hold dear.


Just because they were once there for you doesn’t mean they will be forever. Remember that.  I can’t count on two hands how many fair weather former friend’s and lovers said they were ride or die, but look at where they aren’t now.


I guess the car crashed.


I don’t care who you are. If you make me feel worthless or that you don’t value me I will be gone. Ask my ex wife. I will ghost you like it was like I never existed.


That’s how I deal with insults and people that only care about themselves. Once it gets to a certain point I will simply be gone. 


It doesn’t matter who the fuck you are. If you need me for any reason take a long look at your actions and react accordingly because I’ve moved on before. I can agian.


And I’ll burn the bridge with Napalm not gasoline and obliterate it.  Without ever looking back once.


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more