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Sonne.




The moment gets close, and while there is hope there are also questions. Im stubborn as a mule and I only do things on my terms. i feel like I'm being manipulated into keeping my word. which was never a question to begin with. I was always going to be there. that was decided a long tine ago.


The problem isn't that either of us are ready. We've been ready. The problem is that you have to earn being by side. There have always been terms and conditions and none of that has fucking changed. Answers and truths need to be told. and there are days i question that you are capable of that.


Ill take the light while i have it, but i still expect it to burn me as usual. It is in your nature. I may be the scorpion, but you have always been the fire. and the only thing that fire knows how to do is destroy.


The difference is I'm a force of fucking nature. I'm unpredictable and uncontrollable like the oncoming storm. You cannot fucking predict me, and you never could. thats what I'm counting on.


Unlike you, I will watch my World Burn, Ill boil hot chocolate and make octoweenies and roast marshmallows upon the funeral pyre. 


Ive always expected to burn. I know my soul is damned. this isn't about saving mine. or even saving yours. not anymore. you've always called me the devil, and you're not wrong. but if I'm going to be your devil, Ill be your Lucifer. ill make the fire do what i want it to.


Things will happen and there are reasons that they need to. this slow burn ends soon even if the answer isn't the one we are expecting. I just have to work up the courage to be Icarus one more time and fly to close to the sun. I should let the fire burn me. its all I've ever known.


My Actions not your pretty words will decide the day. and then everything will change or ill move on. thats how it goes. 

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