Shattered Dimensions

I hope I am just being paranoid but I am seeing signs of something not quite right at home, Destroying toys by pulling off their limbs and hiding them under the covers in the bottom of the bed concerns me greatly... I swear If I find out he is being abused I will fucking lose it. What is the point of being who i am if the other half who i chose to spend my life with only to have her slice my heart out thru my back let's this happen? Go figure, the cycle continues even if I cannot be there to prevent it.. fuck you'd have figured seeing how she knows i was Abused that she would be vigilant about it, but of course not she's too self involved.. we are merely possesions, But If my suspecions are true and It's not all just my fucking head I will annhailate her. I don't like suspicious bruises either. this shit shoudl not be happeneing in my own fucking home... It's time to take the rose coloured glasses off and look around, because something just isn't right... The blame isn't falling on me for giving him ADHD, there's something more to it and i suspect you know, and that's the part that both concerns and scares me.. grow Up and fucking deal with it, because if I have to i will deal with you.

Current Mood: Suicidal, Homicidal, Depressed.
You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog