TERRITORIAL PISSINGS II

I have spent the entire weekend being angry and depressed over the fact that i am working a two jobs and neither one of them is bringing happiness due to the fact that one is warehousing kids and not allowing for enough freedoom, when you have someone so concerened about the bottom line that you in effect rationing food to the kids and making staff feel responsible for said rationing, that's disgusting, I know the nutrutional food guide, i will give them good servings not what my employer says to do to save a buck... I'm not in this job to make money and when you are paying someone minimum wage you really shouldn't be expecting them to ration food and supplies to kids who are getting the worst possible kind of care. Of course this is why I don't think I'm going to see year 3 in hamilton or at that organization. It also doesn't help when politics are being played to force us out of my other employment that up until the middle of last week was aside from my son the solitary thing in my life I looked forward too.. but If i'm gonna be the bad guy and have those kids lives affected I'll quit, and be the bully, and be the bad guy, I'm sick of people trying to extert their authority over others just because people aren't on the same wavelengths or have the same goals in mind. It should be about the health, wellbeing and safety of the kids not petty diffrences, then agian, this is hamilton it's to be expected. not much has changed since i was in grade school.

Current Mood: Angry.
I never work better than when I am inspired by anger; when I am angry, I can write, pray, and preach well, for then my whole temperament is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations depart

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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