Skip to main content

Facing the Demon....

I have been more silent recently than usual and that may continue to be a trend in 2013, as I have keeping my emotions, my rage and my thoughts closer to the vest than usual as It is time for the battle to continue and for the battle to end... I have faced my best and worst demons and I know that on any fucking day I am stronger than any of them, except for the one given form, the one that hates me more than any other mortal person on this earth, I have given other people reason to hate me, But She is the only one I know that has given me reason to hate her completely... But that battle is not over, and I am not damned, I will face the demon and her delusions head on, without backing down, without violence.. I will fight, I will defend myself and The little person most important in the middle of this... but i will not stoop to her level, I will not play her game... it's time for action, It's time for victory... I haven't walked away even as tired as I am of the game... I'm not about to now at the pinnacle of the battle... you may be able to destroy a man, but you can not defeat me, not where it counts, not inside my soul. only I choose my fate and only can destroy the tattered remains of my soul by giving up and letting you win... and that is something I cannot allow.

Current Mood: Depressed, Militant.
Whether you end up in heaven or hell, it's not God's plan it's your own.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...