Skip to main content

Facing the Demon....

I have been more silent recently than usual and that may continue to be a trend in 2013, as I have keeping my emotions, my rage and my thoughts closer to the vest than usual as It is time for the battle to continue and for the battle to end... I have faced my best and worst demons and I know that on any fucking day I am stronger than any of them, except for the one given form, the one that hates me more than any other mortal person on this earth, I have given other people reason to hate me, But She is the only one I know that has given me reason to hate her completely... But that battle is not over, and I am not damned, I will face the demon and her delusions head on, without backing down, without violence.. I will fight, I will defend myself and The little person most important in the middle of this... but i will not stoop to her level, I will not play her game... it's time for action, It's time for victory... I haven't walked away even as tired as I am of the game... I'm not about to now at the pinnacle of the battle... you may be able to destroy a man, but you can not defeat me, not where it counts, not inside my soul. only I choose my fate and only can destroy the tattered remains of my soul by giving up and letting you win... and that is something I cannot allow.

Current Mood: Depressed, Militant.
Whether you end up in heaven or hell, it's not God's plan it's your own.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.