Queen of the Reich VII

.. And we are moving forward but somehow still in reverse, nothing like going up In the court and watching her say all the nice things and fully expect her to do nothing, of course that's why you have to be ready to move a few moves ahead in a chess game and have all your bases covered, while I am angry that only a little movement was achieved today she has show her hand of cards and the little advantage she thinks that she has is whittling away and will eventually destroy her, I'm just getting sick of the game and of the battle... I grow weary and it is almost like she enjoys it... soon I will have the information in hand to prove her half truths and misconceptions, and it might be time to bring a third hand into play, something to give me another advantage... there is only so long you can hide and after 2 years I am fucking sick of it.... to hear that it might be six months or longer, and we all know that their will be stall tactics....I'm not sure how much longer I can stand strong.. I'm not the Evil one here...I'm not the one destroying Lives here...at the end of our journey I'm not going to be the one to be Judged.. all of that, and the fact that you have destroyed a life that is not my own, My own is Inconsequential, but His life.. that's an entirely different story altogether... and that's completely on you.

Current Mood: Angry.
The further a society drifts from truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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