I was an idiot to think a piece of glass could fix us. Just because I'll always be here doesn't fucking mean I like you're manipulation and mind games. My love is unconditional, you are my family, I have no choice in the matter. But I can and will choose to step away when you are hurting me.
I want to fight with you until you understand but I realize all that does is damage us both so I'm a better man by doing what I've always done and walking away and pretending you don't exist till the next moment you think you need me. I had something to prove. All the damn ring and the money saved for the ring represented was the fact I could support you if needed. But that was a fucking pipe dream because as always you fucking betrayed me, it's probably an imaginary friend or a mistake but I'm sick of you not being truthful and I'm sick of constantly having you like the thorn in my side.
I'll still do anything for you, but everytime it gets a little harder to listen or to answer that call. I am aware of how much you're actions have destroyed us. Maybe there is no going back. Maybe I'm an idiot for thinking one day you're wild horses will decide to stable and I'll be good enough for you. I still have hope. I don't know why... The barn is in flames and you're the one always with the gasoline.
I know this isn't easy and I'm stubborn, I'll always stand my ground and hold onto to what I believe in... And for a brief moment I believed in you again... You have lost that trust once again. It will take a long time for you to earn it back... If I ever let you in again. I shouldn't, but I know that I probably will.
You destroyed my ability to make an income legitimately doing what I loved and wanted to do and sentenced me to over a decade of hell, but you come crying when you're problems are too much because you want me to save you, like I always do. Because I don't know how to do anything else. My only regret is not being there once for the both of you, but you knew I'd always be there... You just needed to call .
I know that we are both damaged and broken that's why we found each other, and that's why this is a twisted fairy tale with no good ending. But I would like one day for us to have one. I do love you, but I know why and when we are so fucking complicated, and nothing but the passage of time will ever fix that. One day when both of us are ready maybe....
I will always be there.
You are my one weakness.
Current mood: nostalgic.
Current music: no more lies, iron maiden.
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