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Carolus Rex




I don’t need to pretend to be a king, I am one. I live my life uncompromising and without rules. The only thing that is missing is my queen, but that’s her choice to live in my shadow with people that couldn’t hold my fucking jockstrap. I’m gonna live, I’m gonna have fun, and if I burn out, it’s still better than fading away.


I have my friends and I have my life and I go on epic adventures. The one true regret in my life is that I let you slip away instead of going on our epic adventure or having a child first when we should have and delaying that epic adventure for a moment. Either way I do regret that moment and it fucking haunts me as much as it does you, I don’t show it as much as you do.


But I don’t try and hide my pain with false queens the way you do with false kings, I don’t pretend to be anyone that I’m not. My friends and family would follow me into the bowels of hell if I needed them to and they have, I honestly don’t think outside outside of me you have anywhere close to that kind of support system... and you are lucky you’re shattered king is still fucking here. Because I shouldn’t be. 


Not for you.


I go to concerts and meet movie and rock stars and crash parties of major fucking athletes by accident. That’s my life. I give no fucks. I never have. I came from dirt. I’m going to live my life like I’m on fire till the day I am, I wish you were there with me, but I’m done waiting for you to meet me there on anything but my fucking terms as well. 


I will never be anyone’s option or second choice. I will only be me, and I don’t need you or anyone else to be a king. And I don’t need to brag about being one either, that’s a sign of weakness and insecurity. Neither of those things I am or even have been.


I chose you, I am still choosing you even when I shouldn’t be. The fact you choose these clowns over me proves which one of us truly wants to lie in the gutter and who is truly a king. I will always be there for you, but I don’t have to like it. Keep choosing others. One day this true king will be Gone.

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