Skip to main content

Lone Wolf.




I think I am ready this time if you walk away again for you to do it, it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that. But I think it’s time for my independence to shine thru like the falling fucking supernova star that I am, I don’t need you in my life, I will never fucking need you in my life. I want you in my life but I am fucking done sacrificing myself at the altar of hope for you to always break it down.


I’ll be fine with walking away again. I’ve always been best as the lone fucking wolf anyways.


It hasn’t been right for over 20 years and it’s been almost 17 years since it was at least what it was supposed to be. You have you’re ring, it’s been here for over a year... you know my next few chess moves. It’s you’re decision where we go next.


I may love you but I don’t do hot and cold and I don’t like when I feel like I’m being hidden as a moment in you’re life, and even more than that you’re using me as a back up plan because you’ve made mistakes and failed as a partner and as a parent.... you need me I’m there, and I think we are getting there.


But you’re world shouldn’t be crumbling for you to want me back in you’re life every time... I may catch you, but I’m nobody’s hero. I don’t save people. I destroy them, most notably myself.


I am sick of this life as a back up

Plan or a second option. I am neither. I hate that it’s the current status quo where you think I’ll always be there. 


I want you in my life, but if this weekend wasn’t obvious. I don’t fucking need you, I never will. I choose my friends and my interesting life over you’re drama. 


My life will not reach to you. You have to come over to me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more