Amityville II: The Possesion

Losing my fucking mind all the fucking time these days, I am uncomfortable here and I am seriously trying to figure everything out... I don't like feeling fucking unsafe and the lack of respect is fucking insane...patience level is low and i feel like I'm fucking living in an insane asylum, I currently do not fucking feel like this is a safe place to bring my son home too.. too much fucking bullshit this weekend and then to have a major fucking incident over the fact you want fucking internet? buy a fucking Ethernet wire... I've already help to raise a fucking adult, i'm not about to fucking babysit two men that should be dealing with their own shit and issues...I won't be fucking walked over, I'll walk away first.. so fucking fed up with this shit...i'd rather be fucking homeless and hanging with my homies and saying fuck the world than trying to be respectable and fighting so fucking hard to make things right... I don't need to lose my fucking temper every day over simplistic fucking shit... I have bigger concerns in this fucking world to deal with and this baby shit is getting on my nerves.. i basically gave notice today... i am fucking looking to move on, I need somewhere to be fucking comfortable and safe and if that ain't gonna happen here.. i'm fucking gone...

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: 2pac, Brenda's got a Baby.
Stop the world. I want to get off.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog