Skip to main content

Amityville...


The patience level is low and I am still considering giving notice, I need to make plans to protect myself and my own... I know this that I am no else's father, and No one else's friend... nothing like going out with family for dinner and having to deal with fucking bullshit from home, and then the same fucking toolbox keeps me up till fucking 6 am with their bullshit, I know that it would be very fucking easy to walk away right now.. it seems like there have only been a few places in my life where i have found true peace, one is Windsor, one is watching my doggies at moms or the brother in laws.... and the third is up at Ottawa and Fennel, fuck i miss my old apartment so fucking much... both of the two i have spent over a year at.. it's too bad that things go the way that they do, it would be so fucking easy to just walk away and become a ghost... I am sick of having responsibilities to others, I don't have any obligation to have them, and no fucking need... I have one responsibility in this life One. That's it. anything else I can and will walk away from for my own sanity and to protect those that I care about, Hamilton and me are not long in the tooth for each other. Dundas even less.. 6 months I've been here, and it's seems like every fucking day i find new reasons to be fucking miserable. I have enough things in my life that are worth fighting for, I'm not about to take a fucking stand on the things that are not.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
Current Music: Amityville, Eminem
It's true some things were not meant to be & we should let them go... but some things are worth fighting for & we shouldn't give up until we've tried all we can.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...