Keeping the Darkness at Arms Length...

Some days i feel the darkness more than other days but today i got to stand firm on both feet and deal with a number of things that needed to be done... the first was dealing with some buisness and even tho i feel let down by it some days it is a steady source of income and allows to have some adventures and i'm not exactly starving or going without right now, I have a little nest egg set up for whatever is needed and i am doing some serious move forward even if other days it's thru a clusterfuck of errors that things aren't where they should be... of course none of this should be happening in the first place...but i firmly stood my ground with any direction that needed to be handled today with the people that needed to be handled and i will do the same tommorow, sometimes the void is looking back and sometimes I allow it too, Not today.

Current Mood: Determined.
Darkness tends to embolden haters to have a voice. They will find every dark corner, every crack in a wall, or shady spot under a tree to spread lies or put you down. If you shine a light where all the noise is coming from, they will scatter in search of another dark spot to hide.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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