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Path Of Destruction...

I'm not a happy man right now and I know exactly why.. I am not going to be anyone emotional punching bag anymore... i would not take this shit in a fucking relationship there is no way in hell i will take it in a living arrangement... i have enough stress in my life with the person that used my life, my child and my career as her emotional punching bag for years and i have been so distracted by this petty emotional outburst that seems like an almost constant thing that things that have been important have been hard to deal with... those things come fucking first... I will make the world my personal path of destruction to deal with those.. i really don't care about your personal fucking problems I have my own, when I made a personal whipping boy for your frustrations on the world and i endure days on end of it i will seriously start considering my options. I am very close to giving fucking notice right now and walking away, I am paying over market rent for something that needs a lot of work and it's very fucking clear that the only way it will get done is if I do and if i pay for repairs to someone else's house that's not even entirely hers, here's the the thing... I've already put up roofs and paint and walls and shit in a house i can't even call mine and poured heart, sweat and soul into a place for someone I loved who took everything away from me... i won't do it to have comfortable living space... that's what a fucking husband is for not a tenant..i will away and burn everything behind me... that's my fucking modus operandi.. walk away and burn every bridge... the only thing that kept me in Hamilton or the golden horseshoe region is that blonde little boy in Niagara.. it's the only thing that got me to come back, He is the one thing I will never walk away from... everything else i can take or leave, Jesus fucking Christ what the hell am i doing here? i have options elsewhere... i had them in novemeber. it's time to take a stand and make this work or walk away... i can move back to niagara falls easily for the duration or hide in Windsor just as easily.

Current Mood: Pissed off.
Current Music: Till I collapse, Eminem
The things a man has to have are hope and confidence in himself against odds, and sometimes he needs somebody, his pal or his mother or his wife or God, to give him that confidence. He's got to have some inner standards worth fighting for or there won't be any way to bring him into conflict. And he must be ready to choose death before dishonor without making too much song and dance about it. That's all there is to it.

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