Skip to main content

Hurting....


I don't know how to feel right now, one of the people that is so important in my sons life is now gone, thanks to another person in his life.. I am fucking shattered and i have No idea how either Jennifer or My boy feels... Grandma Helen was the only good god damn thing in that fucked up family.. I am here I am not going anywhere, there is nothing right now in my life that i wouldn't drop at a moments notice to be there for both of them... This shit should not have happened this should not be the way that things happen, I am so full of hurt and anger right now and it's not even even directed at anyone...I feel so sad I can't imagine how they feel... why do bad things happen to good people... I worked with the woman, she always accepted me and always tried to continue to make peace between me and you as much as she could, She was always a bridge between us... and I miss her... This should not happen, you will be missed. I don't know what else to say here... anything you need babe, I'm here... I know I've had anger towards you, and that I have left you down, but regardless I am here Standing for you, if you or him ever need me I am here... I will always be here... I promise you that.I don't Know if you can see this, but if you can Know that I am here for you No matter what... for both of you, I feel shattered and I can't imagine How that you feel.

Current Mood: Hurting.
Current Music: Johnny Cash, Hurt.
Everyone I know. Goes away in the end.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more