Dark Energon III: Urban Legend of Zelda.

The patience level is so not there lately nut i go thru days where i can get annoyed, depressed and angry and just sit around do nothing... and this gig is stressing me out but i am not even fucking blinking at expressing myself when I'm being pressured... even superman has fucking limits and I'm not even Clark Kent... the more i see of my angrier dark side that i usually use for strength but of late i am feeling spiraling out of control and i know where the anger and hate is mostly directed... Most of the time it's directed with laser pinpoint fucking accuracy at the one or two people that are not part of my life but it is frustrating that people in my life that i do care about but can walk away from need reminders to get their shit together and not be affecting my mental health... I'm not a big fan of starving and when someone asks me to do something make sure it's worth my while.. I fucking hate being poor, But i can survive being poor on my own when I'm responsible for my own actions, when i have to look after someone Else's behaviors or demands, there's an answer for that.. it involves a fucking middle finger straight up. I have enough people to hate in this life time.. and it's hard enough to keep my fucking demons at bay.... and the fire in my heart to continue.. to do the things that matter, everything else is just added distraction or inconvenience.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: Eminem, Stronger than I was.
If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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