Skip to main content

Old Wounds/Collateral damage

I replay every day in my mind and I think the thing that fucking Stings the most here, is that it has been almost three years, over nothing....old scars have been ripped open and new ones created.. for what to gain a fucking advantage and destroy a man and even more than that destroy a relationship between a father and a child? how do you fucking think that's going to affect him, you think he will better for it when you have real problems and resents you when he's older... I know at the end of this, I will not be the one He hates... He may hate both of us, But he will hate you more. At least i can tell him I never stopped fighting for him. This has always been about control and treating him like a possession, if you weren't so petty one day you would realize that... you would realize the damage you've done... not saying my hands are clean either but at least i have tried to be the person i always have been, I go to my grave without question's about who i am and this will not weigh as heavily on my soul as it will on yours. I know the person I am today, is the same person i was when i met you, when he was born and when you started this war.. I haven't changed.. you did. you're the one who let you're soul grow cold. it's about the next step now. and i know that at the end of the day as long as i pursue what is right in my heart and about Him, I won't stop. you'd have to kill me twice to finish this. i think the biggest thing that prays on my mind is that this would have been my week of fun to have with him because of the kids march break and you've taken all of that away from me. there will be collateral damage in this battle but i only worry about one little man's psyche and the damage you have inflicted. That will always be on your soul not mine.

Current Mood: Sad, Determined.
Current Music: Eminem, Desperation (feat. Jamie N Commons)
I'm talking about her. Just her. And doing it because... Because she took me away from you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more