Weird War V: Through The Looking Glass

You think your world is safe? It is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you.

I don't bluff and I don't show all my cards till the end of the hand. Right now my options given are you're only options, I don't know how to back down or be anything more than the man I am. You are the one who changed and changed things, not me. I've got no problem holding a strong poker face, this is going to be over soon. Let's see who wants to gamble more. I'm doing being nice and I'm done playing nice. This is all one uninteresting mind game to me and honestly I don't give a fuck, I'm not Alice unhinged.
I only know my actions and the consequence of my words and actions, I don't understand what the reason was this weekend, but it's there, and this is another chess move, what am I expected to respond with other than an angry defensive posture? It's been five fucking years, there is no reason for me to be civil much less have a fucking conversation with you. I don't understand you're game girl. I guess we really are going to do this forever. I just can't see a reason to play your games so instead I'll tell you my rules of engagement to end the fucking game,that's the reality. I hate you and I have a hard time reconciling the facts that you are the mother of my child, the once great love of my life and and alternatively my worst enemy. Emotions run deep within me, you've always known that, but the last five years, there is only the cold and the hate. I've become capable of nothing else. That's the man you've made me. This sucking hole in my chest is on you. The fact that you've created a warrior that will never fucking back down in terms of his son, that's also on you. I'm responsible for my actions, but the man or monster I am today, is all because of you, so let's play the game and feed my Frankenstein. Either way it's going end... You know your options. I don't live in your reality but you are about to live in mine. One month, time to feel the fire, time to burn bitch. Let's burn together.

I don't understand what the end goal is here, and I don't know how to do anything but be angry and hate you now, I had made a little peace with the world and was even finding a little peace within, and all it fucking takes is one phone call from you to get my hopes up and to completely destroy my life Agian, I'm completely focused on you with laser pinpoint precision and rage.
The difference this time is unlike 5 years ago, this might be a self inflicted wound. You wanted to side step the system and get a fucking read on me? Guess what, wrong. I'm a fucking soldier, my favourite place to hide is on the battlefield amongst the bodies with the cannons angrily barking around me. That's my reality. I'm from the streets, I know how get knocked down and keep going. You just get back up and keep going. That's all I know how to do, that's all I do. I fight. The only way to achieve peace is to have the threat of violence in the air, I don't fucking deny it, I want you to be afraid of me for the rest of your natural life, but never him.... Not even for one second.

I'll hate you forever, there's no fixing that not even for one moment. That's the choice you made, I never wanted any of this but I fucking rose to your challenge every time I was tested. It's just not in my fucking character to walk away, you of all fucking people should know that if I love someone I'll fight for them, even if it's understood that is a lost fucking cause, of course, if I hadn't once upon a time been in love with you're lost fucking cause we wouldn't be here now. I don't regret loving you ever for one fucking moment tho, the relationship has always sucked even tho we did have our moments, the one positive thing we created is our child, regardless how we feel about each other and I'm sure there's a lot of anger and hate and other emotions on both sides, we created a soul together. That should be the only thing that matters to you, our child, the only unconditionally good thing in our life, and he is the only thing I want in both of our lives. I've long since moved on. I'm not the one that tried and failed to destroy me. I'm not the guilty party. I'm just doing what's right for as long as I possibly can, without regret, remorse or compromise. That's how winnings done. I don't need you in my life, I can find happiness in my life without you, I have. There's a huge weight off my fucking shoulders now, a true albatross that you're fucking insanity opened the door to create that I've been able to slam the door closed on. I have the courage of my convictions. I don't speak any words lightly to you, every syllable has a fucking purpose. Everything between us now has purpose, it's all further down the rabbit hole, it's all part of the chess game..... And there is no us, there is no backing down. I have given you an option, an ultimatum, the terms of you're surrender, the way you fucking end this, that's your choice. If we go down fighting that's on you, if we can sit down and make peace that's also on you. You're options are there. I'm prepared for your decisions either way, are you? I held my ground and stuck to the objective, I outlined terms and let you know what the war would be like... What the war has been like for the last five years for me. There is no back-pedalling or backing down. There is only one option for me, Victory. I won't accept anything less, and I refuse to live in your reality.

Current Mood: Anger, Hate.... The path to the dark side.
Current Music: D12, Psycho.

For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise...and step into the shadow now without complaint.

-Rorschach