The Devil's Favorite Demon.

One thing you may not know about me is that i thrive and survive on adversity, it strengthens me because i know at the end of the day, regardless of the wreckage i will not be broken down and I can survive this... I've survived worse and done it with a smile on my face and never lost the good parts of my soul...they may be hidden and buried deep within but they are me.. my ethics, my soul, all the good things that make me me.. they are their, hidden sometimes, hidden more than most of my emotions i can't shut them off but i can hide them and show a different angrier more anti-social face to the world... but at my core i know who i am, just because i tread the darker side of the coin doesn't mean i am evil, or that I don't know what evil is... espescallay when she's staring me in the face thru closed doors and chess game manipulation of the rest of my life...I'd rather be damned and go to hell than pretend to be someone I'm not... and before I'd do anything that would corrupt my soul I would destroy myself first... hell holds no surprises for me, but I go there willingly... unrepentant... i will go there willingly for the sin's I did commit... and not for the one I did not...

Current Mood: Still Angry.
Where no hope is left, is left no fear.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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