Skip to main content

Changing Gears

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

I am saying goodbye to the thing that has dominated my life other than the ongoing battle that still consumes me, but the other thing always had a short shelf life, one i managed to continue for much longer than i ever expected, But this will be the last holiday where it is of any importance because there is nothing left, but that has been the goal the whole time is to end the game, much better to go out happily and not completely miserable rather than the anger and hate that has dominated most of the adventure, a lot of that comes from within, but there is a reality that it was a worthwhile break because before every thing fell to ashes, i was burning out, and now I can go back to the things i am meant to do with new fresh eyes and a perspective that i did not have before, and do the things i was meant to do, everything that i have always fought for, everything that i will continue to fight for, that's the the true lesson at the end of this.. The person i was has changed and the last few years made me stronger, and I have no regrets... I won't be looking back fondly, But i was far and just and never cheated anyone. it's time to go back to the things that make me whole however, because this was just a replacement for being hollow inside and watching the days tick by. I have a new fire, one i have not felt in a few years... I was made for better things, and I still have goals to achieve.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: Eminem - When I'm Gone

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more