Skip to main content

The Darkness...

...if the world is made of light and darkness...I'll be the darkness!

Character is what you are in the dark.

I don't Know anymore where things are going in my life and whats going on, I'm trying to make things work but old familiar things are creeping into my life and darkening my soul, I am once again becoming quick to anger and I'm starting to seriously examine the things in my head and my position in life, I have made choices and all i want to do sometimes is run away and start again, That's not me, i have to stand and fight, But sometimes I am so emotionally drained and I don't know where any of this is going, only that I'm in it for the duration and frustrated as hell by the entire situation. i wonder if I'm staring into the abyss these days and if it's staring back, or if the abyss is me.. and my black heart... because that's all that's left. I wonder if you ever have days like these where you look back on everything and wonder why you poisoned everything that was important to you to gain a fucking tactical advantage by destroying his soul, Click, click, click, the days click clock down, every day is another day taken away from his childhood.... I hope when you stare in a fucking mirror you feel as empty as I do, the only difference is that I made peace with the Darkness within my soul a long time ago, long before I met you, It's Fuel....but yours will destroy you, I'll just have to stand aside and watch you burn.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Music: Hollywood Undead, City

Do you really think darkness is pleasant? Do you really think you can handle it? Do you really think you can defy it? Do you really think it's part of your heart just because you have problems in your life? Do you really think it's your friend? Do you really think you understand it?... No, you don't... No matter how much you love darkness, or how much you think you understand it, or how many times you try to convence me with lame "philosophic" talk that you're part of darkness... You're nothing but a naive, pathetic creature... If you really want to be part of it, then come with me and I'll show you the true darkness, and when you feel true loneliness, panic, terror, and despair, You'll want me to get you out of there, but I won't do it... I won't do it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more