There Is Only Anger...

This power that we have comes from a dark place, but it's not who we are. And we can use it to help people.

I don't know where things are leading, and I know that some of my choices are guided by the silent rage that i can only do so much about so i focus my fucking energies elsewhere as much as i can, But that is ending, it will be done by Christmas, it's just frustrating that that is all that i have left to look forward to, I took the birthday hard as it's fucking bullshit i have all these things i could be giving my son for this holiday and by the time i'm done most of them will be only memories, another experience that has been fucking taken away. it's frustrating to know that i can give him everything but not being able to... it's a curse, it's just another reminder of how much she has taken away, and i sit here counting down days and waiting for the next step. it is a common part of my life that these material things only pass thru my life, It's happened before, It will happen agian, they are simply not important, other things have much more value to me and those things i will sacrifice everything I own to protect. I've never questioned that, and if you truly knew you would know how much more dangerous that actually makes me.

Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: Amon Amarth Deceiver of the Gods

Why should we remain innocent of what lurks in the shadows? How can we live in the world if we don't understand how dark and brutal it can be?

It is true that I am a person with black pockets of evil and hatred in my heart. There are underground places inside of me

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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