Legendary II: Living large.

Without friends, no man would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

I live large and I live my dreams because it’s all I know how to fucking do. Everything else to me is fucking failure. I’m gonna go till I’m done and I’m going to have a damn good time doing it. I just wish you, my true Queen was beside me to do it. That’s all I am fucking missing.

I don’t need you in my life, I want you in my life. I tried to do a lot of big things involving you this summer leading up to something but it wasn’t ever good enough for you. Maybe next time. But I’m not sitting around waiting.

Not anymore. I have my freinds and I have my life. And it’s way better than whatever you consider your life. It’s sad you can’t figure yourself out but you cannot blame me for you’re failings. I’m gonna have fun and I’m going to live my life, without you. As I always have. You know what you’re missing. You know what you’ve taken away from us as a family.

But I have people in my life, people that fucking matter. That’s all I need.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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