Skip to main content

My Plague.



When I am being manipulated by people I’m not even sure that I fucking respect in a way that may affect those I care about, there is a good fucking chance I will withdraw and pretend that you don’t fucking exist. I have never had a fucking problem with casting anyone out of my life that serves no fucking purpose. I’m starting to consider this with some people who are merely in orbit.  It’s not the usual suspect either. I’m just sick of being treated like a throwaway commodity instead of a useful freind. I just lost one of my good freinds and it cut deep. I don’t need any fake or fairweather fucking freinds.


If your actions affect me it is one thing, if your actions affect more than me it’s completely another. If you hurt someone I care about, here’s a fucking fact. I don’t care about myself. I’m fucking done playing nice. Affecting me is one thing. Affecting those I care about or hurting one of them, I’ll gladly take the bullet. 


If you give me a reason to show my fucking dark-side I wont fucking hesitate. This monster has teeth. And I’m not afraid to fucking show them.


I can and will turn fucking cold on anyone if I think your intentions are less than fucking pure on someone I care about. Period. Hell holds no surprises for me, neither does this earth. I’ve already seen the worst of it and I know how to read people. If i don’t trust you there’s a damn good reason.


Certain behaviours show exactly the kind of people I choose to associate with. And who I choose not to bother with.  I’m getting to a point where I will easily walk away from anyone that is drama in my life. So an insignificant insect in the scheme of all the long days of my life? You were already forgotten.


You merely proved yourself recently. And you know what, I’m absolutely fine with finally eliminating gnats from my life. You wont be the first annoyance that benefited my life in exactly a zero meaningful way. And you wont be the fucking last. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more