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Stay.




Just because I want you and him in my life, doesn’t mean I want to give up everything at the expense of mine. For the life I have now I’ve fought, skinned and crawled in my knees for years to do the right thing… I’ve earned the fun I’m having in my forced retirement. However. I’ll throw it all way for just one day with my son. That’s the priority and the plan. 


We need to fix this. There’s only so much time left and there is an enforced schedule. I can’t continue to play this game until I’m dead and old. I’m old enough as it is. Twenty five years is the defining point where we either get back together or i walk away. 


It’s as simple as that. I want you in my life. But if it comes down to it I can live without you. I have for the last twenty years. It’s him I can’t live without. But I understand and acknowledge your request, but like every thing else in my life, I only ever do things in my terms. 


And either you deal with that and wait or i walk away for the last time… just like the first time.


When it was done in 05, I never looked back. Ever wonder why that happened? Search your soul, I’ll search mine… I’m pretty sure we both know the answer. We are both prideful and stubborn. Neither one of has ever given the other an inch, and that’s the way it should be. I want a strong partner that thinks for her self and doesn’t just agree with me.


It shouldn’t have taken this long to get on the same page against the world tho.


The only difference is I’m not angry anymore, not the way it pushed you away and not angry at you anymore. It’s just time to be me and maybe one day to be us. If you gave me a choice right now, I’d ask you to stay. And I think if you had a choice the same you’d want me to stay. 


I don’t know where we go next. I just hope that you take me with you. Two decades wasted. It’s time to fix that.


I choose for you to stay. If you’ll have me. 


Please stay. 


It doesn’t matter where you and I are in our lives. Our son always has to my number on priority. And his safety. So this is the most logical choice. That the heart agrees. Added bonus.


I will stand my ground. With or without you, against the world when it comes to our child. My world is just better with you in it. And it’s pretty fucking good to begin with. It always has been. Once upon a time you recognized that fact. Maybe now is the time to remember it again. 

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