The Eagle Flies Alone.

I am fine on my own. I don’t need friends or people around me especially people that use me. I had enough of that growing up and enough of being manipulated into my teenage years. I am fiercely independent for a fucking reason. No one controls my destiny. It’s entirely mine. I get to have fun and do things on my terms. Period. Always.

Anyone trying to control me or tell me what to do with anything in my life is going to fall and fail badly. Because I don’t do authority, I don’t play nice and no one tells me and my loved ones what the fuck to do.

I don’t do control. And anyone that thinks that’s they can influence me in any specific direction is about to fail and fall. Attacking those I care about? Might want to sit and reflect on who I am, esp in the Niagara Falls community. I don’t care. It’s part of my charm. And I will always choose those I care about over someone merely in my fucking orbit.

You offer nothing I can’t do on my own. And it’s time for me to be doing it on my own. Id rather be a dying dwarf star than a black hole that just traps people within. It might be time for this bullshit to end.

But like everything in my fucking life, I’ll do it on my terms.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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